Saturday, April 26

Pick me up

Anxiety got the better of me. I had to take a stroll in the park to unwind. It has been a while since I go outdoor to enjoy the greens and singing birds. The city drained me. The open view of the water and mountains didn't set me free. I was encaged in a housing unit neighboring a high-rise building. I could literally see what's going on inside the offices and the cubicles, and what's on the desks. I was further saddened by my selfish desire and my lack of trust in the Lord and His helping hand. After all, I was saddened because of the trouble we are going through all due to my fault. I dragged myself from one place to another. The selfish engine did a good job in protecting me from wondering into the abyss of self-condemns. Part of me didn't let go and told me I had to go on. I had to find my way back to peace. I knew only one place I could find it--in His comforting palm. Into my sight came a book fair. A book drew my attention--Jewish businessmen. Its cover attempted to convey that they were successful businessmen. Presumerably they had their own special way to deal with others. And the one thing I knew they were special for was their perception of eternity. Yes, eternity. "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." --Ecclesiastes 3:11. I am not at my end. I shall wither or I shall not, God will set His time. At the end of the tunnel, He will be there. I can put aside my negative feelings till that day. Meanwhile, "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." commands 1 Peter 5:7.

I believe: the deeper the hole in one's heart, the bigger God's grace is in one's life. You are listening. Let me look no other way but open my heart to Your grace.

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Wednesday, April 23

本相

「所以,你們要脫去一切的污穢和盈餘的邪惡,存溫柔的心領受那所栽種的道,就是能救你們靈魂的道。只是你們要行道,不要單單聽道,自己欺哄自己。因為聽道而不行道的,就像人對著鏡子看自己本來的面目,看見,走後,隨即忘了他的相貌如何。惟有詳細察看那全備、使人自由之律法的,並且時常如此,這人既不是聽了就忘,乃是實在行出來,就在他所行的事上必然得福。」(雅1:21-25)

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Tuesday, April 22

活在氣泡裡

中午時分,落樓買個包。沿途的一所服裝店在櫥窗的一角擺放著牌子,上面寫著:"Cute as Hell"。開導自己,這只是玩世不恭者的"figure of speech"。以前有這樣的事,現今也有,有甚麼奇怪了。奇怪的就是,現今有誰認為可愛可以像地獄那般。又有誰對這樣的說話敏感呢?換個角度說,「放任和自我」不就是個人主義的王牌嗎?

有誰介意Hell是一個很好玩的地方還是地獄?Cute等同可愛還是寵愛自己的感覺?當我認為"these are just words"的時候,我覺得怎樣過癮就怎樣說的時候,"Cute as Hell"有何不對?與你有舍相干?你曾到地獄走了一趟嗎?你就算是語文教授,甚至諾貝爾文學奬得主,也沒有資格對我說三道四。

這樣的人,可以一世生活在氣泡裡,又或者生活在志同道合的群體當中。那不就容易了?反正地球對他們來說可能也不過是個大氣泡而矣。只怕有天,天使跟他提到地獄,他還以為去可愛的地方好好遊玩呢。

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Saturday, April 19

He provided

He provided
much to me
It's not that I deserve any

One might say this happens to one and that happens to another
so why bother giving thanks

One might say
"Show Him to me
Let me hear His voice
Let me touch Him
and I'd believe"

Frankly my eyes didn't see Him
my ears didn't hear Him
my hands didn't touch Him
My rational mind didn't draw me any nearer to Him from the distant conclusion that there has to be a Designer

Yet He knocked on my door
I didn't see through the peephole how He looked like
I didn't hear a noise but the knock on the door
I didn't touch nothing and
I couldn't even tell who's on the other side

It's not me who found Him
He came and knocked on my door
Maybe deep in our hearts
there's always a path
that leads Him to us

I claim not I did anything worthy
Take Jesus from me and watch
I would become nothing

Today
I didn't do anything worthy for
what He provided

Thanks for He provided
And most important of all
is Him among us

Praise Him

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安穩的風

一‧三‧八
大家喜歡的數字

浣熊走在街上
這個躱開 那個閃避
有誰願與我做朋友

下車的人
趕緊打開雨傘
只想避開雨水
卻遺失了甚麼 哪裡找

找到的話 找不到的話
在雨中 在我眼中
只有安穩的風
對我說
不會丟棄我

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A beautiful day

Cozy
warm
with design and taste
my own place

A curtain
covering the murky sky
The half-open window
sending an invitation
to the little ones descending from above

We see no sorrow
we see no pain
in our own little world
aware not of any rain

What's happening outside
What's a beautiful day
Are we hiding from the glory
Or is it hiding in the gray

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無聊

做做吓野,腦海中不為意浮起一句:「四大雞胸。」我都覺得自己無聊。

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Wednesday, April 9

ybbr oyok

mnr ibpp amyo p l hapi mk cmfj uu nn bbp nd
iknf tjka tmd ypmm o tmd ypmm jlln pqmb
tjka sevif hoami tod oihe mf wp
yymr oini hqi hqo gi nn mylm fbrlb hapi fqln vihml ibpp ks
ybbr oyok hapi phqm dher
ene kb nnmbc hhw yihu ryo hapi agdi ana gi wp jkys
vfok ihs ybbr csh hapi ord yrtoe
ihs iknf nn hqo hohkn hapi anvit cnkq

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Tuesday, April 8

昨晚為著友人的事
今天兩度為著別的事
難過

話早就沒啥新意
這當常常喜樂的人心裡想
這條由A點至B點的路該如何走
當跟祂走這話
我也用來提醒自己
要改動思想回路
叫做每一件以先
WWJD
會否來得太抽象呢
怎麼總是做不來

問題在於這個當字
為何它永遠這麼不中聽
在我這個不中用的腦袋中
每天不斷重複地努力
卻每天不斷重複地忘卻
這個當字
叫我莫想在何任事上自誇
我為甚麼不斷反抗它
但正因為我反抗它
又更是願意擁抱它
這個我跟那個我
一直未能達成共識
一個我做事但求隨心
另一個我像鏡子裡的自己
又像走在背後的錄影機
何時把心放進去
何時就認真地去做
可是剛睡醒時
半夢半醒時
那顆心不見影兒
每天要尋找那顆願當的心
是何等的難
多麼多麼想做好
我想一定是有甚麼地方做錯了

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