Pick me up
Anxiety got the better of me. I had to take a stroll in the park to unwind. It has been a while since I go outdoor to enjoy the greens and singing birds. The city drained me. The open view of the water and mountains didn't set me free. I was encaged in a housing unit neighboring a high-rise building. I could literally see what's going on inside the offices and the cubicles, and what's on the desks. I was further saddened by my selfish desire and my lack of trust in the Lord and His helping hand. After all, I was saddened because of the trouble we are going through all due to my fault. I dragged myself from one place to another. The selfish engine did a good job in protecting me from wondering into the abyss of self-condemns. Part of me didn't let go and told me I had to go on. I had to find my way back to peace. I knew only one place I could find it--in His comforting palm. Into my sight came a book fair. A book drew my attention--Jewish businessmen. Its cover attempted to convey that they were successful businessmen. Presumerably they had their own special way to deal with others. And the one thing I knew they were special for was their perception of eternity. Yes, eternity. "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." --Ecclesiastes 3:11. I am not at my end. I shall wither or I shall not, God will set His time. At the end of the tunnel, He will be there. I can put aside my negative feelings till that day. Meanwhile, "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." commands 1 Peter 5:7.
I believe: the deeper the hole in one's heart, the bigger God's grace is in one's life. You are listening. Let me look no other way but open my heart to Your grace.
Labels: Speaking to Myself