Learning from experience

"I am fairly weak at learning from past experience."

That was what I thought until I realized there are two ways of learning from experience. When I referred to the term, I always meant standing up and rebuilding myself from disasters or mishaps. I didn't know there was a different way to do so.

This is really silly for me here to tell you about something centuries old. If anything, I should be ashamed when telling you about this discovery of mine. It is because it is so obvious to everyone, including the blind, except me.

So I do not take pride in telling you something completely non-newsworthy. I am just showcasing to you part of my life. Call it venting if you will, though it is always the insignificant things that help me learn most.

Sorry that I kept you waiting. No, I didn't improve on learning from past experience. Just like I have not been good at drawing ever, drawing is not the whole world in itself. Maybe I am better at singing. Maybe I am better at acting. What was ignorant in me was my limited definition of the worlds or domains of matters, especially the term "learning from past experience" in this case. Something from last night changed my view on this completely.

I was watching a cartoon to help keep my mind relaxed when surrounded by household chores and various deadlines from work and personal life. I have to admit that I am pretty defenseless towards nice Japanese animation and comics. I was attracted, like the male character in the cartoon, to his highschool sweetheart girlfriend. He thought pretty low about himself, much like I do. He seemed nice but not without flaws. On the other hand, caring, righteous and optimistic would describe his girlfriend. She knew his weaknesses. But she was not going to let him live with his flaws and mistakes. One day he made the same mistake he did and she caught him right at it. She didn't overlook it silently. She directly approached him and firmly told him what he did was wrong. Just that. He got ashamed and denied. Then she changed back to her caring self and loved him like it had never happened.

I assume she was not naive enough to believe in his lie. And I am sure there were many ways she could have looked away from his wrongdoing. But she didn't. There would be enough reasons for her to throw a tantrum at the situation. She gave no long lecture or criticism. It was just straight to the point. But I am sure that, if he ever learnt from the mistake, it would not be because of the lesson. It would not be because of the consequence. It would not be because of the shame. It would not be because of a sense of righteousness surging inside his mind. It would only be one thing. It would only be her beautiful heart. Isn't that the essense of goodness? Don't get me wrong. I am not saying her kindness to him was worthless. She could have never spoken a word about his flaws and simply be kind to him. I believe that would be what a lot of us want others to do to us. That is why we do not learn to be rid of our wrongdoings. At the end the only thing that caught my eye was the goodness in such person. Really, caring and optimistic character shines like a bright star. It fits only to a good, righteous heart. I am like the male highschooler in the cartoon who did wrong, denied and didn't live in peace with himself. And "learning from past experience" wasn't good enough for him to get out of his flaws. Because, he never learnt from a good experience. I don't know about you. I only learnt from bad experiences, like being scolded, losing what's important, and feeling ashamed. But she turned everything into a good learning experience. When he came to the verge of doing wrong again, he would recall there was such faith, hope and love on him. There he would not set his eyes on anything else.

Suddenly I recognized such goodness personally close to me. Here I am concluding my entry. Off I go to ponder some more on it.