To love what I hate

In the mood, so I would babble over here.

Hearing problems. Two friends separately spoke to me at a distant last night and I could hardly hear what what they were talking to me about. I am sorry if you were those friends who felt frustrated towards my incapability to understand your words. Because I couldn't figure them out. Somehow I haven't got problem hearing during work or over the phone. Makes me wonder if I have any hearing problem for real.

Weak memory. When we came back to the city and were on the way to dinner, I forgot about the exact location of the restaurant. I chose to tune to my failing memory rather than to follow a reliable friend's directions. Because of that, I am sorry.

Meaningless, blunt words. If you have known me, you would know I have always been blunt and have constantly been making comments that never seemed to help anyone. "Inflated ego" would be the word to describe it. As if everyone should come and listen to these meaningless comments for some enlightenment or something, how so full of myself I always have been!

Selfish personality. I guess it has something to do with my lack of attention and security during my childhood. The kind of courtesy I have shown to others and the consistency of it have never been as loving as the compassionate friends close to me. How much would I like to become as loving as them! How come I always seem to lack the capacity to give it all to others? Do you feel the same way?

One good point I took from yesterday's devotion was one shall accept in order to love a person. It's not what one does that determines whether the person is lovable. It's merely that one being a person, just like you, just like me.

So self, let's see if we can work something out, m'kay?