In a pool of mud

When it comes to dealing with struggles, it is imperative to tell the difference between faith and greed. A person with faith is optimistic in the presence of struggles because he believes in a greater power of goodness that will ultimately triumph. A greedy person however puts himself in a bubble in the name of faith to hide away from consequences he has created for himself.

Where's the watershed in between the two? It is true that obstacles bring us to our knees, praying for help, and make us realize how powerless we intrinsically are. I admit to be one of those who struggle over obstacles. The realization of our powerlessness is crucial in the search of our spirituality. It highlights our need for external help. It also highlights our desire to mitigate sufferings, may they be self-inflicted or imposed, legitimate or baseless, avoidable or destined. Sin entered the world, and matters since then have become so complicated so quickly that rationalizing sufferings becomes a nearly impossible task. So many things have gone wrong that we find no escape from hurts and sufferings. The opposite to taking the collective blame is denying it to the fullest extent. Today's culture makes us efficent engines of self-liberation, from blames and even our own responsibilities and guilts. The thoughts of the whole generation have become marginalized to accept that personal happiness equals goodness and have been happily doing so. Haven't we been happy doing so when we look away from all problems and please ourselves with goodies? We try very hard to be happy and marginally feel so but knowing full well deep inside ourselves that sufferings didn't go away. Guilts didn't go away no matter how deep we emerge ourselves in the pool of pleasures. The promise of salvation is absolutely appealing to ears of those who run away from their sufferings, with guilts or not. If one's sole intent is to look away from his transgressions, let him bait himself with the sight of an easy exit which he will one day find to be a curse. The powerful Gospel of Salvation seems easy only to those who want nothing but to take advantage of it.

Neither lose heart nor be confused, however. The Gospel is indeed the way to true freedom from sin and its suffocating guilts. It is the only way to true life we have been given. When we take that step to wear like a believer, walk like a believer, act like a believer, are we putting our trust in truth or simply reaping from the great promise? We are already told that in the midst of needy, vulnerable sheep hide wolves that intend nothing but to kill and feed themselves. But the day will come that they will be judged by a powerful fist. Isn't fear an interesting character in this scene? When the sherperd calls his sheep, good sheep answer to his voice out of love and strayed sheep answer to it out of fear. I don't think wolves have no fear. But they fear their sufferings more than the price they will have to pay. They hear not the sherperd's calls of both judgement and love.

Even in fear, some strayed sheep wonder around on their own. That's why there are fences to warn them of the chance of losing themselves in guilts on the outside. The self-righteous thoughts in one's mind blind himself of the warning signs and shut his ears off the sherperd's calls. The fences mean nothing to him. He is too "smart" for them. I have been a strayed sheep for a long while and I feel I am still one today. But there is hope, as a part of me wants to do right and I still faintly hear the shepherd's call. Help me come forth to you, dear Jesus.